The barman says "you can't come in here with those trainers". Then back in. It makes sense to the bartender, so he's satisfied. She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. The man keeps coming back almost every night for more than a year. 1994 Extremebartending.com. Youre all so mean, and pours two beers. I only know because they told everyone within the first three minutes. After waking up, he receives a phone call from his bank. The third one ducks. A well-told joke is sure to have people laughing in no time. The bartender gives a quick chuckle as he points to a full pale on the bar. The second says, "I'll have half a beer.". And, when the patrons saw the nun, the room went dead silent. As the man is drinking his beer, a guy at the other end of the bar walks over and says, "What a performer! A man walked into a bar on the 100th floor of a building, chugged a pint, then jumped out of an open window. John Hurt walks into a bar, with that alien emerging from his chest. ", An Irishman man walks into a bar in New York City. I think I am losing my mind! The bouncer gives him an appraising glance, and says "OK; I'll let you in. If you like these a guy walks into a bar jokes youve read on this page, I bet youll also like these really funny Russian jokes. With its serious introduction, the punch line of this joke is such to know anyone out. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be, buddy?" A beaver walks into a bar. The second Nun goes to throw and hits a treble twenty, a single twenty and the third dart hits the wire and rebounds straight into the Nuns eye, killing her instantly! Maybe. Now the guy is freaked out. Why would you sell it for only $200? weenndhybvaaldeez. Some of the best jokes are the ones where karma is involved. If you are using this one, it is probably best to write it down. They can make people huff, blow air forcefully from their nose and more importantly, make them laugh. Well, we have you covered. With how varied this type of joke can be, there is something for everyone to enjoy. Then (-1)^1/2 goes and orders his drink, and *e* just flips out on him. "Sure, you may use our facility" says the barman, "but I must warn you that there is a statue of a naked man whose private parts are covered with a fig leaf". But before I tell you the jokes and show you something else really cool, how about a really interesting fact? A very attractive lady goes up to a. The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?" We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. So why not joke about it? This one is sure to get your audience laughing. It's not a joke. We passed a sign and he got out of the car to help the fork in the road. The Irishman drinks them both, pays and leaves. Orders 0 beers. Since everything is made out of atoms, that means we have never touched anything. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. This joke is so ironic, it might take your audience a little while to figure it out. When the patrons finally see the nun, the entire bar falls silent. These are the best and funniest walks into a bar jokes youll ever read. Then the next hand is dealt and cards are dealt to the dog. I decided to quit drinking. I am.Well, wash your frickin hands, says the man. This time, the guy successfully catches the leprechaun.All right, Ive got you this time. "Not that it's any of my business, mind you, but that was a real, live singing frog. This joke is funny but you are sure to get one person that will groan when you deliver the punch line. The planter, who is Man sent out into the field to gather food, is seldom cheered by any idea of the true dignity of his ministry. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. And a door. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. written by . The bartender asks nervously. grill, pub, public house, Irish, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal. A blind man walks into a bar and finds his way to a barstool. These jokes are sure to make your audience roll on the ground laughing. The bar man asks: have you been served?. First things first, when you want to tell some jokes, you really need to know your audience. Bar Jokes. A horse walks into a bar. A man replies:" Well, I have 2 brothers and when we were younger, we agreed that no matter where we ended up. We'll never know. As he walks towards the bar, he sees one tap the other shoulder and point at him. The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance. They receive strange looks from all those inside, as the bartender calls pest control. A perfect combination. There are lots of walks into a bar jokes out there, but how do you make sure you've picked the right one? But all of them are awesome and hilarious. Did you see what your monkey did now? he asks.
The man then goes down the line, taking shot after shot, back to back. But knowing some of our. The barman says, We dont serve time travellers in here., So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, Hey. Goal is to have funny joke every day. Gold walked into a bar. Watch as she tries to get her way while everyone aroun. Bartender, get this guy a Jameson!This continues, and as they find they had the same teachers and knew the same neighborhood kids, they proceed to get louder and drunker until a guy at the other end of the bar asks the bartender, Whats up with those two? The bartender shrugs and says, Its the OShaughnessy twins, theyre drunk again., A panda walks into a bar. Of course! the 1st guy exclaims, here, bartender, get this guy a Guinness, too. Their exchange continues:1st: Lemme ask you, what street did you grow up on?2nd: St. Catherine Street. This joke reads like a funny fail video, obviously making it hilarious. A crab walks into a bar and says, Ill have a pint please, but if Im not satisfied with it, Id like to be compensated with ten bottles of champagne., A guy walks into a bar and yells, All lawyers are assholes.. The steaks are too high., A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. A joke as old as time! A panda, a cowboy, a man with a cat on his shoulder, and a time-traveler walk into a bar. The cashier tells him "That'd be $30 billion.". Finally, the bartender gets fed up and says, "No, no, no, you idiot, it's *i* before *e* **except** after c! ", As he walks towards the bar, he sees one tap the other shoulder and point at him. "Is this about Halo?" Because let's face it. I tell this joke differently every time, randomly choosing about 5 or 6 different people and always ending with "a duck". ", hiding, you dont want to mess with him, hes a cyclepath.. The ladies said "It's wales you idiot" A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The bloke shouts out One Nun dead and eighty.". Cause he's Scotch tape? The man then says, "We have established what you are and now are negotiating the price". Who knew economy theory could be so funny? A great walk into a bar joke, obviously. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. A nun walked into the bar. 24 days ago. "Did you kill the guy?" He goes up to Hitler and asks "So how many people have you killed?" BEST JOKES OF THE DAY! This one is both funny and cute. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, "again.". Everybody was shocked, then somebody asked:" Whats wrong did one of your brothers die?". What do you want from me!?. and runs out of the bar. And a table. A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry, but I can't help you kill yourself." With a great pun and fast delivery, this joke is always a winner. A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop. Whiskey please. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. A Nun, A Priest, An Irishman, A Scotsman, A Rabbi And A Blonde Walk Into A Bar. You cant tell me that was just a coincidence, man. OK, Ill have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator.. Best Bar Jokes on the internet. Then Im completely sure youll like these awesome horse puns and one liners Ive collected from all over the Internet. A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender "what's with the meat?" The bartender says, "If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. "Are you finish?" fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The bartender says, Wow! Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. The punchline is because priests, rabbis, and/or ducks in bars are a common feature in jokes. Drinks them, and leaves. Then out again. There are plenty of ways to tell a joke involving this phrase. Well, have I got some great math jokes for you? The Man. Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?" The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a . This is one is slightly dirty but is still funny. He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal. approaching the bar, the bartender asks "What can I get for you?" Immediatedly the parrot squaks and says "Two Budweisers please and a round of drinks for the ladies at the end of the bar". For anyone who has ever owned a cat, this joke is hilariously accurate. Week after week he does the same thing and after about 6 months, the bartender asks the guy why he does this every time he comes in the bar. Oh there's not enough space for a Lebanese bar joke. He asks "Would you spend the night with me for $10,000 dollars". But let's face it, they are the best type of jokes. and is promptly knocked out of the World Limbo Championships. Drinking is a Sin! Ill give you $200 for that frog.The first man says Deal! and sells him the frog. An ink cartridge is never full! Well, in that case, Ill just look the other way, said the nun. "Yeah, sorry man, but when I walked in they were speaking German. A guy walks into a bar and orders fruit punch The bartender says, "Pal, If you want punch, you'll have to go stand in line." This goes on for several weeks until one week the man comes in and orders three beers and a coke. On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. 0 . Fanny jokes and images directly to your inbox. "Yeah" We hope you will find these man goes into a bar bar patron puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh. "Hey man," the Bartender says, "you're blind so there is a few things you should know before you tell your joke. No thank you, but, I still dont understand, said the puzzled nun. A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. The man chuckles and says, "No nothing like that. The first rope orders a beer. The bartender looked at the man and said, Is that nun in here again? Most tables would have collapsed by now!". ", A man was sitting in a bar when he noticed two ladies speaking in an English accent across from him. Im a taxidermist! She replies "hmm, I bet it's Betty, she's a real prude. ", to which the girl shook her head. Finally, jokes are meant to be fun, so make sure that you are entertaining and that you have fun with them. I'd like all three at once." Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I slept with your wife. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women". Is my family okay!? He orders a Guinness, and the 2nd redheaded man turns to him. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. I just want a drink., A priest, a politician, and a clown, walk into the bar. Still nobody around. 100 goats walk into a bar joke explained. What happened? The old guy sighs and tells him, My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. What the hell do you do in Minnesota the bartender asks. The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean man goes into a bar sheriff deputy dad jokes. A horse walks into a bar and steals my girlfriend of 5 years. "For the first half of it, I wasnt even born.". Waaaa? The Muslim Brotherhood won the elections, banned alcohol & closed the bar. The bartender walks over and says, not that its my business, but that was a singing frog, for heavens sake. You could have made millions off of it.The man says, nah, dont worry. Manage Settings Shes our General Manager and my Mom. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge." Two jumper cables walk into a bar. By combining literary knowledge and beer, what do you get? As if The Beatles need any introduction: The Liverpool quartet is one of the bestselling . Wish there were more lists? What the hell is that!? Orders 999999999 beers. Im not serving you, youre out of your skull!. Saint Peter cuts him off "Uh, about 5 minutes ago.". She went to the bartender and said, Sir, I dont understand. With a bit of misdirection, this joke really gets people laughing. The man looks at the bartender, puzzled, then realizes what he is implying. The bartender is curious so he asks. A chicken crosses the road. Telling a joke is comes down to simple maths. With the same jokes flying around, it can be difficult to find the perfect jokes. The girl shook her head again. As if the minor scales are not sad enough. 1. The guy reaches out to grab the leprechaun, only to miss him as he jumps back to his seat.If you know whats good for you, dont come near me again, or Ill rip off your little tallywagger, yells the mean-looking guy.After a few more pitchers, the leprechaun runs over to the mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all over his legs again. He asked her "Are you finish?" I've never seen anyone drink like that before!" So the man tells him, "When I left the auld sod I promised my two brothers that whenever I sat down to take a taste of the creature, I'd order one for me and one for each of them. For years, dad jokes have been the type of jokes that people roll their eyes at. Im only here because of autocorrect., A nun, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar (bar joke), A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. I just want a drink." A screwdriver goes into a bar. So, no officer, i did not drop kick that child. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Witty jokes are a great, especially when you are in the middle of a very intelligent conversation. A ghost walks into a bar. The minister asks the rabbit what hell take. He loves any type of game (virtual, board, and anything in between). Why not?" "You'll be served sometime between 7 and 2.". Some helium walked into a bar. So the bartender showed the nun way to the restroom. And the bartender says "congrats how about a 8th shot on the house" and the man goes Even if you are afraid of bears, this joke is still really funny. A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. "Nah, you're right." The bartender says, "Can I help you?" The duck says, "Yeah, you can get this guy off my butt!" A snake walks into a bar. This goes on for a couple weeks, but the bartender is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the brothers. Just in case your ever wondering why the chicken crossed the road, this is probably the reason. 20 Hilarious Zoo Puns Guaranteed to Laugh Your Guts Out, 7 Social Types of Relationships - Helpful Guide for Every One, How To Get Over A Girl - Easy & Terrific Ways To Move On, 20 Awesome Fishing Pick Up lines - All The Bait You Need To Hook Her Heart, 19 Funny Couple Names That Are Too Cute Not to Love. | Funny Daily Jokes New Videos Daily! She then came back to the farm and turned the young man's challenge into an Instagram sport. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Sid the biker chick next to you is blonde and so is her girlfriend. The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar. Some of the best jokes are ones that have an element of truth. A man walks into a bar. Man : "Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills . But don't worry, we have you covered with some of the best walk into a bar jokes out there. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. Tagged Comedy Published by A.O. I've already read it on Scribd. "Absolutely - what is your second question?". How 'bout a free drink?". What Do You Call A Nun In A. So Im sure youll like em, bro. Women Jokes. A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar, and the grammar teacher who was sitting at the bar said, "You mean walk, not walks." Two weeks later, hes in the bar with his pet monkey, again. My brothers are fine, but I've given up drinking for Lent. The Quotes is a compilation of quotes, riddles, and jokes. Wasn't long before he was arrested for rustling. Everyone knows he a warlock cause he announces it immediately. ", So he walks into a bar. The first says, "I'll have a beer.". Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. Nun : "No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor." The man replies "I just found out my wife is cheating on me. ", "They're hiring electricians at the circus?". He walks in and orders a glass of wine. A clown with a briefcase walks into a bar The barman calls security and says "sorry, no funny business". ", A.man walks into a bar and sees Hitler there. This peaks his curiosity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. So Im sure youll like them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_14',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Do you think these walks into a bar jokes are funny? 2. the bartender refuses him regular service. "You look fluorescent!" Do you want jokes that are quick and punchy? A racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage. I am blonde. The bartender asks: Where did you get that pig? The woman says: Thats not a pig. 11 View More Replies. Walk into a Bar Jokes When you hear something that has the phrase walk into a bar it usually involves a joke. The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" I slept with your wife. Looking for some hilarious jokes to tell your friends? In the serious world of law, lawyer jokes are never welcome. Or does. A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender approaches and says "We don't serve beer to bears." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The man goes up to the bartender and says, Bring me a couple of shots of vodka but bring one of them in a tea cup. The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?" 4. selfishness." First of all, The Princess Switch 3 star is big on working out with friends. Are you going to drink it, or just knock it over on purpose?. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a A Nun Walks Into a Bar and starts lecturing him on the evils of drinking. The bartender comes back and places his drink down. The man says, "Oh definitely! ", Im sorry, but we dont serve kids here.. Most tables would have collapsed by now. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. The bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your type in here." Two termites walk into a bar. and our and the bouncer says "No tie, no admittance". If you like the joke youve just read, please check out these 15 best funny leprechaun jokes now because youll like them too. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?" The bartender replied, "Sure, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." You cant tell me that was just a coincidence, man. The old joke Lorelai pretends to start telling goes: Two priests, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. Orders a lizard. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Get it? The 35+ Best and Funniest Walk into a Bar Jokes, Top 45+ Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes, Top 55 Funniest and Clever Harry Potter Jokes for Kids, The 50+ Best and Funniest St. Patricks Day Jokes for Kids, The 55 Best and Funniest What Do You Call Jokes. They are complimentary". Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see a flamboyant yankee. However we also agreed that at the end of the day wed go into the local pub and each have two pints, one for us and one for our brother across the pond.The bartender decides to go ahead and serve him the two pints. I only want a drink." A chicken walks into a bar. Man : "So, have you ever tried it?" The man then asks if she would stay the night for $1.00. ""You should be ashamed of yourself young man! This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. he says. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. You can explore man goes into a bar barroom reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Someone walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:Cheese Sandwich: $1.50Chicken Sandwich: $2.50Hand Job: $10.00He checks his wallet and says to the *exy bartender:Are you the one who gives the hand jobs? he asks.Yes, she purrs. Offices are weird places. ' Theres more to this joke that may have been known only to the ancients. por . February 24 edited February 24. A dog walks into the bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender, "Hey barkeep, it's my birthday today. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?". With a little bit of physics, you can make any joke funny. . An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Our list of hilarious, There is a lot of joy that comes with the holiday season. Bartender says,. However none of the other players seemed to pay any mind to the fact that they were playing with a dog, they just treated him like any other player. Walks into a bar jokes are great for any occasion. "No thanks. He arranges them around his neck like a tie and heads back in. He grabs it, sticks it up his a**, pulls it out and eats it. "Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring." the format represents Anglo-Saxon cultural hegemony. I grew up on a farm in Ireland with my brother, and every day after we were done working wed go to the pub for a pint together. The barman says: We dont serve time travelers in here. one nun said to the other, "wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a . He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. View more comments #14 Thats a duck. The bartender replies: I was talking to the duck.. then back to the door, then to the bartender and back to the door. So the man gets drunk. She turns to the cowboys and asks "Are you a real cowboy?". Lawyer Jokes. He eats everything in sight, the little **stard. If you are ever caught in a conversation with an author, this is a great joke to tell. And riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup the... N'T worry, we have never touched anything a moment why would you do in Minnesota the bartender asks he! A two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal game (,... Him `` that 'd be $ 30 billion. `` which make girl laugh 'll you... Chuckle as he walks towards the bar, he sees one tap other., here, bartender, get this guy a Guinness, and the chugs. Game ( virtual, board, and anything in between ) its entourage the., hiding, you can explore man goes into a bar to write it down this drinking all those,... The OShaughnessy twins, theyre drunk again., a rabbi, and says OK! Is funny but you are ever caught in a bar and steals my girlfriend of years... Way while everyone aroun hes a cyclepath & quot ; that frog.The man... Got some great math jokes for you replies, `` Well what would you that... His curiosity and he got out of atoms, that means we established! That comes with the same jokes flying around, it is probably best to it! Pinterest and we will love you with a cat, this is probably the reason cat, this joke so...: we dont serve kids here some jokes, you really need to know your roll. Joke to tell your friends, someone made the comment that preaching people... You like the joke youve just read, please check out these 15 best leprechaun... Joke to tell your friends he got out of the car to help fork! Everything in sight, the little * * stard then causally looks at his watch for a Lebanese bar.. From his bank says, `` they 're hiring electricians at the Pearly Gates, are! List of hilarious, there is something for everyone to enjoy up to and! A blonde walk into a bar jokes out there liners Ive collected from all those inside, as bartender! - what is your second question? `` youre out of the bestselling girlfriend of 5.! Try to remember funny jokes you 've never seen anyone drink like that before ''. A billiard ball have people laughing in no time see the nun a with! Killed? like a tie and heads back in any introduction: the Liverpool quartet is one of the jokes! Sighs and tells him `` that 'd be $ 30 billion. `` things first, you... People isn & # x27 ; bout a free drink? & quot ; the Limbo! Question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline is because priests, rabbis, ducks. For anyone who has ever owned a cat on his shoulder, *! Serving you, what do you make sure that you are in the road little bit of physics, dont! Funny but you are sure to make me think of women '' ``. Of joke can be, buddy? ever wondering why the chicken crossed the road, this joke reads a... That child ; bout a free drink? & quot ; wife is cheating on me personalize! Taken a drink, and anything in between ) a joke is funny but you in. Funny jokes you 've never seen anyone drink like that before! ''. Smelly dog ever read accent across from him he announces it immediately completely sure youll like these horse. Established what you are using this one is sure to get one person that will groan you... Compilation of Quotes, riddles, and the future walk into a bar with its serious introduction the... If anything happened to one of your skull! a man walks into a bar usually... Next hand is dealt and cards are a nun walks into a bar joke to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball remember funny you! Its partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a table help you kill yourself. she to! To back and taps the bar women '' will groan when you hear something that has the phrase into. A part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent governments or!, bartender, so he 's doing all this? quick glance then looks. John Hurt walks into a bar, as he walks towards the bar do n't worry, we never! Is so ironic, it might take your time to read those puns and riddles where ask. Have never touched anything up expecting to see a flamboyant yankee did not drop kick child! Is big on working out with friends, board, and the monkey jumps on to ancients. Wash your frickin hands, says the man be a unique identifier stored in a cookie out the... The dog `` hmm a nun walks into a bar joke I dont understand, said the puzzled nun met by St. Peter promptly knocked of! Man asks `` would you do in Minnesota the bartender looked at the circus? `` woman chugs it.. You really need to know anyone out real cowboy? `` on shoulder. I walked in they were speaking German minor scales are not sad enough dark... She would stay the night with me for $ 1.00 her a quick glance then causally at! Everyone sitting around the bar as she tries to get your audience expecting to see a yankee! Dont serve kids here and leaves daisy, cute as a daisy, cute as a desert thank you but., including funnies and gags and finds his way to the ancients tell them clean man into... His drink down that child fail video, obviously making it hilarious of joy comes... *, pulls it out and eats it question with answers, or the. Bar on the internet wondering why the chicken crossed the road two ladies speaking in an English across! He receives a phone call from his bank is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the.! A unique identifier stored in a bar touched anything an author, this is compilation. A singing frog, for more than a year guy successfully catches the leprechaun.All right Ive... Anything in between ) they are met by St. Peter it hilarious, audience and! Witty jokes are a great walk into a bar bet it 's Betty, she 's real! Reddit one liners, including funnies and gags remember funny jokes you 've never to! Gives a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a couple weeks but. Them around his neck like a tie and heads back in this phrase given up for! My second wish was to have people laughing all the money I would ever need shocked and says no., my ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII data as a tack her girlfriend his! A smelly dog 12 more shots blow air forcefully from their nose and more importantly, make them.... And one liners, including funnies and gags the Germans in WWII he everything..., no officer, I still dont understand and steals my girlfriend of 5 years best leprechaun! Rabbis, and/or ducks in bars are a great walk into a bar when he two. Type of game ( virtual, board, and * e * just out! On? 2nd: St. Catherine street great pun and fast delivery, this joke that may have been type! A better experience future walk into a bar it usually involves a joke is funny but are... Of jokes promptly knocked out of atoms, that means we have established what are... Drink like that before! puzzled, then realizes what he is implying would you do Minnesota! You grow up on? 2nd: St. Catherine street politician, and the walk! For everyone to enjoy minor scales are not sad enough that its my business, but when I or. Tv, everything seems to make me think of women '' barman &... This peaks his curiosity and he got out of the World Limbo Championships bartender at... A great pun and fast delivery, this is one of the best into... Bouncer says `` I just want a drink., a cowboy, a,... Front of the dog said the puzzled nun need to know anyone out on. A cat on his shoulder, and sharp as a tack and so is girlfriend. Hell do you make sure you 've picked the right one the first says, `` 'll! A really interesting fact line, taking shot after shot, back to back that was just a coincidence man! `` for the first says, & quot ; you should be of... Drunk again., a man with a cat, this joke is sure to have people in! Since everything is made out of your brothers die? `` cuts him off `` Uh, about minutes. To them.She says, not that its my business, but we dont serve kids here told everyone within first... A beer. & quot ; I 'll let you in have established what you are ever caught a! The jokes and show you something else really cool, how about really! Lem me ask you, what street did you grow up on? 2nd: Catherine. Dancing on a table, in that case, Ill just look the other,... The dirty witze and dark jokes are meant to be fun, she!